...About men...

Since recent time after a sufficiently long-term relationship I am alone. I'm sure many people have found themselves in such kind of situation, but since I have such an event for a first time I experience it quite stormy.

So, after 7.5 years, conducted with one person somehow even unusual to realize that once someone else could be next to me...strange feeling I have to say...

But now I don’t want to tell about sad things, only about a what kind of men I met and how they behaved :-)

Just want to make a reservation, I was born in Siberia, Novosibirsk, and lived for 6 years in the capital of our country (Moscow – for those, who doesn’t know).

So, obviously, that I have meet some new people with whom I could be in new relationships. The key words "could" ...

For convenience of narration and avoiding of switching on certain people I will call those or other characters as follows: M - man, if in a story participated more than one man, they will be denoted by M1, M2, M3 ... Perhaps someone will not like it, but it is just for convenience…

Aslo, special for non-Russian speakers, here I tell only about situations happen in Russia, where we have our own habits in relationships, as well as in behavior…

As the men gallanted me ...
(NOTE: I do not know the right english word for russian ухаживать, so I decited to use my own word galanted :-)  )

1) Meeting in a park
I agreed with M to meet in the park N, I warn him that I was going to rich the place by underground (in Moscow it is like the “Great portal”, so I would prefer to meet somewhere in the vicinity of subway stations, or in that part of the park, which is closest to these stations. Agreed.

I arrived, I put on rollers, took a call ... it turned out that M forget that we had agreed to meet there, that he was in another place and waiting for me there, because he parked his car somwthere close to the place he was. This “his” place was 3 km away from me, so, I needed to change my shoes again, because there wasn’t a direct paths for “his” place.

I have another half hour I spend on it to get to M, and at this time he was constantly calling and wondering why I had so long ...

2) Relationship to a car.
Now I want to give an example of relationships of two different people (I specify: meeting with them took place at different moments of my life, with M2 six months after meeting with M1).

Meeting with the M1 was after work. We agreed that I will bring something to eat from McDonalds. He arrived at the appointed time, I sit in the car, gave him his meal and began to eat devour french fries. One fry fell on the seat, and he started a speech that I need to remove it from a seat and in prospect I should make any mess and dirt in his car.

After a walk to the M2 he gave me a drive to my home. It was an evening, so, it was quite late and dark. I was looking for something in my purse, and asked him to turn on the light, because I could not find the button. In responded: "Learn to handle the car, so the next time you could turn the light by yourself..."

It was so pleasant: he suggested that there would be another meetings and he was completely OK with me feeling in his car like at home ... nice :-)

3) The attitude to my problems.

It so happened that after the walk I could not entered to my flat  (and I neede to be at home very, very well hard!) Lobby (NOTE: russian - tambur) in our part of the floor was suddenly closed. I understood that in one of the neighbor apartment there was someone new who does not know that the lobby was used to be open - the door lock was broken, and since all apartments in this area were occupied by tenants, no one wanted to deal with the fixing the lock (Russia – yeap ☺).

So, it was cold and rainy. In my wallet there was some cash of 60 ruble (2 dollars). The nearest ATM was in 10 minute walk  and I hadn’t umbrella, and we remember that I really needed to get in apartment.

I called owner of apartment I rented and asked her to find phone numbers of all the apartments in the area. In parallel, I wrote M1, M2 and M3 SMS, in which I described the “beauty” of my situation, and ask for help - just drop in on me, take to a pharmacy and some cafes.

M1 did not answer me till the next day.

M2 called back after 40-50 minutes, and said softly: "You know, I'm in a club, hey, beby, how are you? Got into the apartment, or still under the doors?" KNIGHT!

M3 wrote sms after 15 minutes and said he was ready to come to me and asked to recalled the address ... however, I was already in an apartment and I just thanked him for his willingness to help. Invited for tea - he refused.

Then Vkontakte (NOTE: russian social network) I wrote about the situation to M4, he asked, why did not warn him - he could quickly get to me ...

4) His problem.

M1 was preparing for a surgery. He said that he would rather sit at home during the weekend before Monday, when he should be put in the hospital, to avoid to catch a cold or something. At this weekend I had a stage performance, but I decided not to insist on his visit. In the evening after the concert I called M, and found that he was “clubbing” with his friend.

5) Visiting cafe.

I’ve noticed that than more money M has, than it is harder for him to melt away with the money. For example, in the cafe (well known, economy-class cafe) M1 always tried to pay for me and used to not let me look at the receipt.

M2 (a well paid guy) after receiving a receipt (turned out that our meetings were always during supper-time and I ordered only a tea and a salad, or some jelly and ice cream) studied if for a long time and carefully, paid and gave 30-50 rubles for tips  (1-2 dollars). Not strange behavior, but during courtship it does not look very nice.

In addition, when a man – owner of new Audi – looks into the check for 700 rubles (20-25 dollars), it is also suspicious. The next time I would like to pay myself...just in case…

6) Promises.

M gave me call around lunch-time at Saturday. He said that he was going to the service station  to "change car's shoes", and after that he would pick up me from home. OK.

I waited for a call during the rest of a day. At 23.59, I wrote sms: "What a bad service at yours station is." Obviously, I was offended and angry. After 2 a.m. at Sunday I was awakened by a call –  M said that he was sitting in a café with his friend. 

7) Making a decisions.

Men are not able to take responsibility at all. I tell you a story that happened right in front of me – not with me.

During the whole working week SHE came home from work late at night and dropped like stone on her bed. HE was calling during the week and saying that he missed, he wanted to see her. Unfortunately on Saturday SHE had to go to a business trip (or something was going to happen and they could not meet). SHE gathered her last strength, agreed to meet with him and went somewhere on Friday night, but HE should decide by himself about the place they would go (movies, coffee shops, a theater - it does not matter), because SHE was just a body and her the brains “were absent”. After working Friday she was just about crying because of her tiredness, but SHE decided to prepare for a date and go(girls will understand me, sometimes “preparing” may take 1.5-2 hours). He arrived right next to hers place, she jumped into his car, fastened, and he asked her a question: "Well, where shall we go? .."

I'd unfastened, and went out of the car and would go home ... She has remained - strong woman


8) Attention.
How often do guys really think about presents? For example, I do not like flowers. I can accept them from people whom I do not know well (bouquet of March 8 from colleagues, or something like that). Even more, I do not like toys.

Give me candy? Modern man has already understood that it is not an option. And what else?

Some M has enough imagination for buying a gift certificate for cosmetics, and some even acquire a certificate from the gift shop, they say “choose, my dear, by herself: you can jump with a parachute, or make a Thai massage”.

Recently ... I caught myself thinking that my ex-husband gave during our whole life together just the camera ... Jewelry I bought myself a ... ones I stupidly begged him for earrings: I selected them, he paid ... 

9) Interests.

Just for fun, but indicative. M and me were in his car, he started to talk about musical preferences. He said he was fond of bard songs. I said that I am not fond of such music for several reasons  and also I do not like how guitar sounds.

A minute later he inserted disc with bard songs and guitar in car’s recorder. WHY do you do this if I just said that I do not like?

10) All roads lead to sex.
It would be naive to think that from the very first second of the first dating a man does not think about you in bed with him. After the first date is often I receive sms with their thoughts about WHAT and HOW they would like to make with me ... Girls are also human beings, we too may have our own desires, but after the first date, perhaps we may feel that you want from us only sex, and all these tricks of "tell me about yourself" – are only to divert our attention from thoughts in your eyes.

Although ... maybe ... I chose wrong men ... :-)